Although Islam has allowed separation of husband and wife in special conditions, it is an act disliked by Allah, and traditions of the innocent leaders also have not praised it. For example: Imam Sadiq (a.s.) said:
“Allah likes the house where marriage takes place and dislikes the house where divorce occurs. The most detestable thing to Allah is divorce. “(1) 1- Wasael, Vol. 15, P. 267
“In all the actions, which are halaal (permissible), there is nothing worse than divorce. Allah does not like that a person commits divorces and takes many wives. “(2) 2- Wasael, Vol. 15, P. 267
Imam Sadiq (a.s.) said:
“When news reached to the holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) that Abu Ayyub had the intention to divorce his wife, he said that it was a sin to divorce the mother of Ayyub. “(1)
Imam Muhammad Baqir (a.s.) narrated from the holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) that he said:
“Jibrael recommended me about the wife as much as I thought divorcing her would be illegal, except in case she openly commits an indecent act.”(2)
Again Imam Sadiq (a.s.) said:
“Marry, but don’t give divorce, because it shakes the throne of Allah.”(3)
The Messenger of Allah (s.a.w.a.) said:
“Among all the permitted things nothing is more liked by Allah than marriage, and among all the permitted things nothing is more hated by Him than Divorce.”(4)
Divorce according to Islam is an indecent and unfavorable act, and one should remain away from it as far as possible. Because it shakes the Ark of Allah, but due to a reason it has not been forbidden. However, it is strongly hatred. Islamic thought tries to control the factors which lead to divorce. Some of which are mentioned below:
۱- Wasael, Vol. 15, P. 267
۲- Makarimul Akhlaq, Vol. 1, P. 248
۳- Makarimul Akhlaq, P. 225
۴- Mustadrakul Wasael, Vol. 3, P. 2
۱) One of the causes of divorce is the cold attitude of the husband towards his legal wife, and attraction towards other women. This is caused mainly because women appear in the society without Hijab, or have incomplete Hijab, and the lustful eyes of men are hunting. When the eyes of man falls on a woman who is more beautiful and attractive than his wife, he would be fascinated by her, and becomes cool to his wife. When he returns home he makes untrue objections and excuses, which make their life sour, and many times it ends in divorce. To prevent this bad fate, Islam has advised women to observe the Hijab properly, and not show her adornment to stranger men. They should not do make-up and attract, except for their husbands. On the other hand, men are advised not to look at stranger women, and to avoid useless and sweet talk. If at all their eyes falls on a stranger woman, they should not stare at her and should close their eyes at once.
۲) The second cause in frequent divorces is the coolness of husband and wife with each other and their sexual relations. Many divorces and scandals are due to the fact that man or woman is not satisfied in sexual intercourse.
To prevent this, Islam has advised women to take their best clothes in the house, make up themselves as a favorite to their husbands. Husbands are also advised to observe cleanliness and hygiene. They should have proper haircut, trim the beard and live nicely at home. On the other side, they both are advised that at the time of intercourse, they should not be selfish, but should think about the mutual satisfaction.
(۳) The third factor in divorce is bad behavior, bad ethics, objection, excuses and stubbornness of husband or wife. Statistics shows that maximum divorces are due to non-compatibility of the spouses.
To prevent this, and for the stability of the family Islam has prescribed duties for each of them, that should be regarded by them. They are also advised to refrain from selfishness, stubbornness and despotism and they should forgive each other; and the disputes should be solved amicably.
The moral duties of husband and wife are analyzed in the books of ethics, and some of them have been mentioned before.
(۴) The fourth way employed by Islam to solve the marital disputes, and prevent divorce is the establishment of a committee of arbitrators. There are two persons in it. One is from the wife’s side, and the other chosen by husband. These two can be relatives or some other people.
The Qur’an says:
“And if you fear a split between a man and his wife, then appoint a judge from his people, and a judge from her people; if they both desire reconciliation, Allah will bring harmony between them, surely Allah is Knowing Aware.” (1) 1- Qur’an 4:35
The arbitrators will arrange for a meeting and invite the husband and wife to attend it. They will ask about the disputes with complete attention, listen to their grievances justly, find out the truth, and will give kind and friendly advice to the other side. They would make each of them familiar with their duties. Invite them for forgiveness, tolerance, assistance, duties towards the family, and efforts to make the marriage stable. They are also warned of the bad effects of separation and an agreement of peace is reached.
It should be said that the peace of arbitrators and reconciliation through enforcement of “law” is very different. For reconciliation between two partners, two neighbors, or two enemies it is necessary that they do not cross the limits and trespass the rights of each other. But the reconciliation that Islam desires through the arbitrators committee is not the enforcement of law. It is to remove the grudge from the heart and to remove the factors of disputes and try to promote co-understanding. It commands them to take interest in the family, be warm towards life and normalize the relations between spouses. The merit of this over the former way is clear. However if the arbitrators after investigation and necessary procedure concludes that the disputes between spouses run very deep and the flame of love and interest of the family is completely extinguished and there is no hope for reconciliation, they advise them forgiveness and tolerance, and leave the husband and wife to themselves, till they separate from each other, or they suggest divorce.
(۵) Payment of the dowry. The fifth thing, which can prevent divorce or delay it, is the payment of dowry. If the man had given the dowry earlier, he has no right to take it back; and if he has not paid it, it is his duty to pay it in full, while giving divorce.
The Qur’an says:
“If you want to exchange one wife for another, and have given one of them a large sum of money, do not hold back any of it. Would you withhold it through slander and open sin?”
“How can you hold it back when you have had intercourse with each other, and they have made a solemn agreement with you?”( 1- Qur’an 4:20-21 )
Dowry is the religious and legal right of wife, which could be collected in any possible way. If man has not paid it in advance, he should give it at the time of divorce. If the dowry comprises a property or a huge amount, it can prevent divorce to some extent. Especially for those who are poor and do not have enough money.
(۶) Supervising and looking after the children: Supervising and looking after the children, and to bear their expenses are the responsibility of the husband. When the conditions of the family is normal, and husband and wife stay together the wife usually takes up the responsibility to look after the children. As a result men get the opportunity to work and bear the expenses of the family. But if they get separated due to divorce, then the supervision and looking after children is the responsibility of man; and to fulfill two responsibilities together is difficult. The children also need a mother, and the father cannot manage all these things alone.
Therefore, if the father thinks properly, and studies the negative divorce. On this basis, the existence of children and the responsibility towards them can be a safeguard for stability of the family and is counted as a hurdle to divorce.
(۷) The presence of two just witnesses: The validity of divorce requires in Islam depends on that two just persons be present at the time of the reciting of the formula of divorce. Namely;
First: For the divorce to be valid, it should be recited properly, which is not possible for everyone.
Second: At the time the divorce lecture is read, two just persons should be present, so that they listen to it and when required give witness.
In this way it is not so easy to find two just persons for witnessing the recitation of the lecture of divorce. Thus the husband cannot act in haste and later he may change his mind.
During this period the man may get cool, and leave his anger, and think about the bad results of divorce; problems in future. Friends and relatives can help him in this regards. Even when everything is ready, the learned judge who recites the marriage lecture and two just persons, they do not give the divorce at once, but try to remove their disagreements and reconcile them. In necessary case they can delay the divorce, to give more time to think about the consequences, and probably they change the mind. As Islam is against divorce, it has tried all possible ways to prevent it.
(۸) The period during which a divorced woman cannot remarry: After all the stages, even when divorce is effected Islam does not end the marriage, but it has stipulated a period(1) and in a revocable divorce gives permission to the husband to renew the earlier marriage without any dowry or recitation of lecture.
Islam has laid much importance for protection of the marriage. Even after divorce, and in the “waiting period”, opportunity is given to the husband to think properly, and if he has interest, he can renew the earlier marriage.
From the time of giving divorce, the woman should have three monthly periods.
THINK AND ANSWER
What is the Islam’s view on divorce?
Among all the permissible things what is the most disliked?
What has Islam done to prevent divorce?
What are the causes of divorce? And how did Islam fight against them?
What is the function of the ” Arbitration ” committee?
How has Islam delayed the occurrence of divorce?
What is the result of delaying the divorce?